Best moments of an Open house -mum

The day before yesterday my 12-year-old called: "Mum, can You leave house? I have many friends here and we want some place."
"I´m going to a grocery store in a moment and I can write and do my own stuff in my room and in yard if You want space of Your own."

And 10 male and female teens came. They are from the school where my daughter is going to in autumn and only her BFF was familiar with me. So I asked all of them: "Do You wanna hug or shake hands?" and half of them: "Of course hug!"

"Be like at Your own home. We are quite open, this is gonna be a commune in a couple of months and more adults moving here. You are always welcome and can stay overnight too."

"Wow, nice", they said.

And wild crowd ran upstairs and I heard some of them whispering: "She´s so cosy."

My beautiful daughter came soon: "Mum, they say that You´re nice!"

Laughing, yelling, music thundering. My favourite songs, so I danced downstairs. After a quarter I heard so much swearing, "Go fuck Yourself!", that I went to knock on the door. Everybody starred me like they know what I was going to say.

"You know what?"

"Yeah, we are too loud?" everybody said.

"Can´t swear?"

"No, no..We don´t have many rules, and I swear myself too. But we have a couple of rules and the most important is that You cannot hurt anybody, not physically neither psychically. So You cannot say: "Go fuck Yourself!" You just tell what´s Your need and emotion. So if somebody is too close to You, You can say: "It irritates me that You´re too close. Would You please move a little further away from me?"

Everyone of them looked me amazed. We can be loud, we can be visible and booming, really? And make friendly boundaries?

"Have fun!" I said when leaving.
Soon my awesome daughter came to me again:
"Mum, they say that they love You and You´re great! I love You mum!" and kissed me.
Tears rose up. I knew that this is a quite important place for her. These are gonna be her new ´high school´ friends.

While I was away (in a stores) they watched a horror film which was too frightening for many, so they stopped it themselves in the beginning.
They had made me a present which was waiting me in my bed (a pic below) :-D

Kids and teens... they just need to be trust, space to be visible and audible, sometimes even booming <3 Like we adults too <3

Be Yourself. Trust in life.

Namaste <3

Julia Kuu

Funny gift from awesome teenagers: smiley condom :-D ;-)
(When I a year ago placed condoms into our bathroom closet I said: "Here´s always gonna be condoms and I don´t count them. Some day in next 10 years You are probably needing them and I hope You´re gonna use them. )

I´d used to be quite control freak as a mum and as a person. Steady kitchen all the time and so on. But life´s sometimes a mess. And if You cannot stand a mess at Your own home, it´s very hard to stand it in Your life too. It´s nice to groove with own rhythm. Be sometimes messy and clean it when it calls for You. And if it doesn´t call at all, then it´s a call for learning to handle and organize things. Life´s a beautiful dance of chaos and order.
My soulsister TeaJo  told me years ago about the book named "Playing forbidden! Children of the society of control* Leikkiminen kielletty! Kontrolliyhteiskunnan lapset" (from Jukka Laajasalo who´s Finnish writer and teacher, I don´t know if You can find this in English so I suggest You to learn Finnish ;-) I have had this book for about 5 years in my bookshelf but haven´t read it. It seems that the information has energetically moved to me, because now as I just started to read it, in every sentence I think: "Yeah, this make sense, I think so too!" 5 years ago I would have been a way more opposed reader. I´ve read only a few pages now, but the message is something like this: especially after the 2th world war the Finns have fostered almost only from outside. We are like programmed robots (no wonder we have piles of intelligent IT-programmers). And there´s nothing wrong with the intelligent. If it´s only a tools of our soul. But the heart should be another strong tool. And what has happened: surprise! Now we have a plenty of people who don´t nurture themselves, don´t follow their inner wisdom of what to do for living (the passion of them) and are miserable, frustrated and even depressed. So let´s play! It doesn´t matter if Your an adult or a kid, there´s Your inner children anyway inside You waiting Your permission to laugh, be silly, humorous, sometimes noisy and messy, to dance and sing, to make art of any kind, to put Your hands into soil,
to see the beauty and universal patterns in small things.

When my soulsister in autumn moves to live with us, 

we are gonna make new house rules and put them into our hallway. 

My suggestions might be these:
* Respect Yourself and others (any kind of harming, physical or psychical, prohibited)
* Solving method for conflicts: both have space to tell about their needs, emotions and side of the story what happened --> solution is invented together (they can ask help from others, but others cannot deside it, if doesn´t matter if You´re an adult or a kid)
* One meal together daily if it´s possible, and of course without cellphones (this we do nowadays (sometimes it´s 21pm because of hobbies) and I love it,

but this is the one I´m most open to leave behind if others want to)
* Take care of Yourself (and ask for help if needed,
help others only when it feels good, so be aware of Your own resources)
* Whole house alcohol-free zone

* Everybody cleans their own mess (visible or invisible), help can always be asked
* Be Yourself and let others be too, and then we bloom together

* Trust others and in life
* CHILL OUT AND ENJOY <3 !